A Basket Case.

Stormy weather

Mon, 07 May 2012 16:16:49 -0400

Its one of those days.

The kind where the gears don’t shift right, where rust seems to stick to rust as you achingly get out of bed. Mondays aren’t Mondays when thunder rumbles off in the distance as you brush your teeth. These are Saturdays wearing someone else’s clothing. You should not be here. When your dog looks at you bleary eyed when you get out of bed you know. You just hit that snooze button one more time.

Its afternoon and I still haven’t accomplished much of anything. I’m sitting here muching on a stale brownie I found at the bottom of my bag, sipping on tea out of my thermos. I didnt steep it long enough. Its a little metallic. It stings like today.

Let the wild rumpus begin!

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 12:55:00 -0400

Its a truth universally known that people like to give unnecessary advice.

I would know. I’m one of them.

If you’ve ever lived with me, or talked with me, or had a conversation behind me in line at Phil’s, McDonalds, Barnes and Noble, etc. you’ve gotten my opinion on something.

Its why my hair is so big. Its full of opinions.

So I get it. I get that people have opinions on how things should be done, and how this could be fixed and

how I can get a job.

But seriously kids? Enough already.

I’m tired of surfing the internet and reading about the “10 things that employers hate to see on a resume” and finding them on my resume. Removing them from my resume only to read another article with the “12 things employers love to see” finding that I just removed them.

How to write the perfect power cover letter!
Dont you dare write your cover letter like that!
Why did you pick that font?
You know theres an (insert statistic here) job rate right now, RIGHT?
Hahhaa you’re a recent college graduate, why are you even bothering with this?
Harvard graduate fails to find job, your punny liberal arts degree is worthless.
10 most worthless majors, all of them are YOURS.

ENOUGH ALREADY.

Seriously. I’m done.

Because there is no self help article in the world that can help me be more than what I am, which is myself. There is no statistic that hasn’t been skewed to make me panic in some way.

So I’ve decided that from here on out, I’ve decided in the job hunt to just be myself. And if they don’t want me, the me that uses “Bookman Oldstyle” on her resume because it has a bit more flare, the me that doesn’t use statistics on her because she doesn’t think that’s the point of her work, the one who occasionally uses a run on sentence to get her point across, then I really just don’t want them.

Now I just hope I don’t end up at McDonald’s.

I'm melting...melting...

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 12:38:47 -0400

So this new doctor put me on this new med.

Not really a shock. It happens all the time. I go in and they go “Oh! I know what pill you should be popping!”

I give them a blank stare. They smile cheerily.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Anyway. This new guy seems a bit better because besides a pill he also prescribed meditation. Not in so many, words, but essentially that’s what it was. “Be outside yourself, spend time thinking outside yourself, breathing deeply, releasing tension.”

He prescribed this after spending about 5 minutes with me. I mean, he’s good.

Anyway, this pill he prescribed. I go through the rigamaroll of “So what are the side effects, will the conflict with any of my other medications?”

I ain’t no rookie kids.

He tells me it may make me sleepy (Ha! But that’s another story for another time) and that it may cause me to loose weight (Yes! Yes! PRAISE JESUS YES!).

What he failed to mention is that Topamax (the med) has a common side effect of taste distortion is carbonated beverages.

Carbonated beverages.

I drink diet coke like— it’s—WATER.

I wake up in the morning, I let Rory out, feed Rory, get dressed, leave the house, GO TO MC DONALDS AND GET A LARGE DIET COKE, and go to work.

This is my morning routine. It took me about a week to realize that the soda machines weren’t the problem, I was.

*whimper*

Back to that whole… meditation thing…well. I’m outside myself alright.

On my Period, The Titanic, and other epic Wins

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 15:07:29 -0400

One of my lovely Forensics students got 3rd place at the WFCA State this last weekend in the Solo Acting Humorous category. For those of you not in the know, its a pretty male dominated category, and she’s a she. And a a sophomore. Check in the win column for pure talent at a young age. Another win for the fact out of 6 people in the final round, she was the only female.

And a win for the fact that it was (my) cutting from Tina Fey’s Bossypants.

If you haven’t read it, or even if you have, it was the part where she talks about her first period, the first time she got yelled at by a guy in a car (girls, you know, guys if you’ve done it, SHAME ON YOU), and the first time she went to the gynecologist. All things that 16 year old girls today have most likely experienced.

And all year long we’ve battled that. “Inappropriate content” “Salty language” “Not sure if the subject matter fits the group” “The content made me uncomfortable”

Right. Because guys never tell fart jokes. And kids never swear. *blank stare*

My point is, small victory. A young woman with talent went out and was funny simply for being a woman and owning it, and no one batted an eye. In fact they honored it.

Also, in case you missed it the Titanic just had the 100th aniversy of its sinking. There were a lot of History Channel specials and I cried a lot. (What? People died!)

But I was thinking about it. Sometimes you need an epic fail for an epic win. I mean, much like my period the Titanic kind of sucked (ok bad link but stay with me, I’m going somewhere with this). But something good comes out of it. Without the sinking of the Titanic we wouldn’t have the safety regulations we have today on major ocean liners. If you think that’s a big deal, you aren’t watching the news. (Or haven’t read Bossypants. Seriously. Get on that.)

And while women’s periods blow once a month, last Saturday, for one small team from east central Wisconsin, they made the world shine.

Oddly enough, I can't find the words.

Tue, 20 Mar 2012 14:38:03 -0400

The thing is, I think after all this time, we’re still searching for a room of our own.

http://www.vidaweb.org/the-2011-count

Working to end poverty here? Anyone? Hello?

Fri, 09 Mar 2012 13:51:35 -0500

I’m going to preface this post with the statement that it is a bit of a rant.

I am a little bit cheesed off.

Now, my mother (love you) would probably say that I’m upset about a lot of things, most of the time. But my focus here isn’t on general global issues, biased news reporting, or Rush Limbaugh (Which I don’t really need to post about because Rachel Held Evans pretty much covered it on here blog here)

If you haven’t heard about Kony 2012, I suggest you remove yourself from the rock you’re under, go take a walk and get yourself a cup of coffee. Seriously. Get some sun.

While I’m a self admitted Facebook addict, I noticed the Kony posts coming in by the dozens a few days ago. “Watch this video! Do you have a soul! Seriously! Its only 30 minutes out of your life!” Really? Only 30 minutes? That’s enough time for me to make a cup of tea, some toast and watch an episode of Big Bang Theory. Its been a long day kids. I really just… ok fine. Enough already I’ll watch your *bleeping* video.

Insert long pause while I watch the video in horror. My head falls to my desk as I groan in horror. This is exactly the kind of thing that I hate.

Now, I’m clearly not the kind of person who isn’t for social justice. Quite the contrary. I’m currently working as an Americorps VISTA, I’ve applied to graduate school to get a masters in Social Work and Women’s and Gender Studies. I have dedicated my life to helping others. I don’t just get social justice. I eat, sleep and breathe social justice. Seriously. It’s concerning to my family how riled up I get over issues of inequality, poverty, and injustice.

But Invisible Children isn’t about social justice. Its about making wealthy Americans feel justified in their own entitled circumstances, by “helping” the “poor helpless Africans”. I don’t want to sound like I think Kony is an OK guy. He’s not. Really he’s up there with Hitler for the ridiculous atrocities he’s committing. He absoloutly should be brought to justice for his actions. But you aren’t going to do a whole lot about it by purchasing a $30 “action kit” Want to help? Give your money to an aid organization that isn’t about post-colonialism, that isn’t going to give your money to further armies that have their own problems with looting and rape, and that isn’t paying their leaders 80 grand a year.

There are organizations the world over that are working to bring social justice in effective ways, after research on how to bring effective social change from within the population it seeks to help.

Support AmeriCorps and PeaceCorps members who serve your country and the world on INTENTIONAL poverty wages. We work within the populations, after significant training on how to effectively support and build the capacity of those we work with. And we don’t get the big bucks for it, so that we continue understand those we work with.

And its organizations like these that get ignored for the viral videos that make you feel like a super hero for donating your money to get a cool bracelet.

I don’t need special applause every time I show up to my office in the morning. Its not why I do what I do. But every time I see another organization bent on “helping” others without really taking the time understand the population, or communicating the whole truth to their donors, I weep just a little.

Take some time to think about injustices you walk past every day of your life. Think about your neighbors who can’t get by without foodstamps. Think about the victims of disease in your own country that can’t afford their medications. Think about wadge discrepancies, rampant homelessness, and education inequality. There is enough on our own back porch that gets ignored.

I urge you to take a look at the resources posted below to educate yourself about the truth about Kony 2012, and organizations that do so much more.

The Atlantic: The Soft Bigotry of Kony 2012

The New York Times: The Lords Resistance Army

Charity Navigator: Invisible Children

Charity Watch: Best Ways to Provide Emergency Relief to Uganda

When Helping Hurts by Brian Fikkert

Americorps Homepage

*end rant*

In which I talk about things I shouldn't

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 16:16:05 -0500

So I’m sitting here at work trying to write a presentation on public speaking for my fellow VISTA’s. You’d think it would be easy. I’m a high school speech coach. In short, its what I do.

But my mind keeps wandering back to the book I finished last night.

Now that I’m out of school for the first time, in, oh, 18 years? (I’m counting pre-school) I’m finding myself at a loss for the daily mental stimulation. My procrastination mechanism is still fully functioning (see: blogging while working) but my need for mental aerobics is being starved.

One cannot simply read Finnegan’s Wake on their own.

Well, this one can’t.

So I’ve been reading the fabulous blog of Ms. Rachel Held Evans and her Sunday Superlatives Series has directed me to a number of wonderful blog posts and books discussing women’s issues, theology, and general wonderfulness.

Ms Evans is a part of a movement that I didn’t know existed until around October of last year. For those not in the know, I was raised in a wonderful Evangelical Christian household. While happy with the faith I have been raised in, as I moved from high school into a liberal arts education I have found myself questioning the black and white cultural wars that seem to separate contemporary Christianity with the social issue of today. See Ann Coulter vs Bill Maher.

Upon reading Evolving in Monkey Town, by Ms. Evans I realized that there are a whole slew of people just like me out there. Raised in a faith the believe in whole heartedly, but with a passion for social justice. Raised conservative, but finding themselves to lean liberal in adulthood.

My mind has been blown by this. While I still struggle with issues of faith and society (ask my parents. more than one tear filled rant has occurred as a result) I find comfort in the simple fact that i am not alone.

So my continual search for resolving my politics and my faith led me to read the book Raised Right: How I Untangled My Faith from Politics which I just finished last night.

I have to whole-heartedly recommend this book to anyone in a similar quandary, or to anyone who has wondered about this kind of thought process. The author, Alisa Harris gives her own unique, and yet familiar account of the struggles my generation faces. Read it. You really should.

So now that I’ve mixed politics and religion, opened myself up to a potential firestorm of comments (does anyone actually read this blog?) I think I’m gonna keep this up.

After all. I’m wearing giant dandelion earrings to work today. A girls gotta have a little controversy in her live.

Things I should be doing.

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:04:34 -0500

Not writing this blog post for one. My my brain is being productive, just not in the way I’d like it. While working on a project for my job, I needed to do some internet research on volunteer management. Clicking open the Google Chrome browser, my e-mail pops up. Hmm, I’ve got a coupon for dog food. Click open website…

How to tell if a dog has food allergies.

Where can I find cheaper Blue Buffalo dog food?

Bank account, can you keep me afloat for the next two weeks.

Similarly, how long will it take to pay off my credit card, and then start saving up for a down payment on a new car. (Not new, just not the car I currently drive)

Frustrated, I need to do something to destress, Sudoku puzzle, I will conquer you.

Oh thats right, I have a coaching session at 4:30.

Analysis of Elizabeth Bishop poems for one of my Forensicators.

What does the word “farrago” actually mean?

I don’t have to go to the tournament this weekend. I get to visit Katie!

How long does it take to get to Tomah, WI from Sheboygan, WI?

I have to be gone from Rory for 2.5 days. I hope he’ll be ok. Do I have enough dog food to make it that long?

Look at time. HOW DID I WASTE A FULL HOUR?

Well bugger.

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 15:07:11 -0500

I’m a bag blogger. New Years Resolution: get better at it, and don’t throw my shoe at the tv over those Weight Watchers commercials. (they irritate me)

In other news driving with my new winter boots on is like driving wearing two slippery casts on my feet. Funsauce.

Yup.

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 16:44:18 -0500

Yup.

For those lost between worlds.

Thu, 10 Nov 2011 15:22:07 -0500

Its hard to be the sort of person who so clearly sees what is wrong with the world. It grows a kind of passion that can be hard to harness. Its a little bit wild, and if allowed to grow unchecked without rebellion can turn a little bit rabid. Passion is as much of a curse as it is a gift. With passion for those suffering injustice you can never just let something slide idly by.

Oh and the world needs people like me. We become the social workers, the change activists, the teachers that change lives. If you look at our Meyers-Briggs personality type we are the Ariel’s of the world. Longing to see the surface and believing in a better world.

So its hard to see what happens what that passion devours. When a person cannot connect passion with belief, passion with order (even if that order is not understood.)

Adolescence a hard time for all of us. Between the pimples and the hormones its when we learn to handle our world view. Add to then unbridled passion for humanity? Its nothing less than a challenge of epic proportions.

To those lost there, between childhood belief and adult understanding I hear your voices. I was there too. And there is another side.

Today's procrastination brought to you by...

Wed, 02 Nov 2011 16:13:46 -0400

Today's procrastination brought to you by...:

I would happily own almost anything from this site. I will end up drowning in hilarious junk.

Earplugs! Earplugs! My country for some earplugs!

Wed, 02 Nov 2011 15:58:08 -0400

My office walls stop, oh about 8 inches short of the ceiling, both on the interior wall that opens to the coffee area, and the wall adjacent to the office next door.

The office that is shared by traveling advisers from affiliated schools. These advisers are themselves lovely people, who care deeply for their students. So, please do not think I have a low opinion of them.

I CAN JUST HEAR EVERY BLESSED WORD THEY SAY.

Including some quite confidential stuff.

And I’m sitting here trying to write a report, work on a service learning text, and an article for a newsletter. And my brain is swelling, my ears are ringing and all I can hear is this person’s voice shrilly talking about educational politics and (insert students medical problem here).

She just closed the door. The volume level stayed exactly the same. I would have to get Lollapalooza in here to drown it all out.

I feel like my eyeballs are gonna pop out of my head with the stress of it all.

If this kills me, Amy you can have my cladgah ring. Mom, make sure Rory is taken care of. And distriubte my books to the dissadvantaged….

….whimper.

this doesn't bode well

Tue, 01 Nov 2011 15:19:15 -0400

Has anyone SEEN the time?

Confound it EINSTEIN! I fart in the general direction of your theories of time relativity!

I’m gonna go clean my keyboard.

I changed my mind.

Tue, 01 Nov 2011 14:36:00 -0400

I kept thinking about writing a post over the last few days and the majority of what came to mind were stories revolving around Rory and his desire to poop in my room in the middle of the night. Or the fact that he’s currently wearing little boys Y-fronts backwards to keep him from licking his stitches, and that last night he pooped them and I had to wash his butt at 3:30 in the morning.

“These are not things that should be shared with the appropriate world” I kept telling myself. Then I examined that really the readership of this is pretty nil, so I’m hereby releasing myself so that I may talk about my dogs poop habits.

Who knows. Maybe it will start a world wide phenomenon.

I can see the articles now. “20 something woman writes fantastic blog about dog feces” “Woman turns the poop around”

Ok, so I’m tired. But I was up at 3:30 giving my dogs butt a bath. Can you blame me? Because really my world is very small. I work and come home and clean up my dogs poop. Sometimes/always I watch television.

Anyone see Castle last night? No?

This day is moving very slowly…

That itchy titchy feeling

Thu, 20 Oct 2011 22:41:56 -0400

My little man has ear mites. Poor guy. Most of my sympathy goes to him, but about 5 percent of it is reserved for myself, in part due to the fact that he’ll be fussy about me fixing it. The other part is due to the fat that I now feel itchy all over despite the fact that humans can’t GET ear mites. But they can live in a dogs bedding.

Guess where Rory sleeps?

Now don’t judge me. For the first few nights he slept dutifully on the floor curled up in a blanket. But then one windy night he found he could jump up into bed, and positively refused to be removed. There are only so many times a girl can say no to big brown eyes staring up at her and a floppy puppy curing up next to her.

But knowing they could be in my bed. I’m resisting the urge to explode with anxiety and scream “MUST CLEAN EVERYTHING”

But I swear the moment he gets fleas…

In other news my fibromyalgia has once again decided to take a firm hold upon my life. With dripping fangs it grasps me around the middle and runs off into the forrest of Pain and Gettingnothingdone. There I am trapped by the fogs of mind numbing confusion, and sludgey bogs of Cantgetoffthecouch.

Getting into work has been a pain. *rim shot*

But by the grace of God I seem to have the worlds best supervisors, and they are very understanding. So there’s that. I only wish I could find a doctor that would a) call me back about appointments problems and b) not just prescribe me a whole boat load of pills that make my mind go crazy.

As of right now I’ve only successfully found doctors that do one or both.

It seems you can add good doctors to the list of things in the world that seem like they should be easy but are actually very hard. Included are reading Machiavelli’s the Prince (DRIEST BOOK EVER) and finding a pair of good quality, but inexpensive, flats.

A book commits suicide every time you watch Jersey Shore.

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 14:12:00 -0400

A book commits suicide every time you watch Jersey Shore.

Hey look over there!

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 14:01:25 -0400

I’ve been meaning to start a blog for a while, and have always found a reason not to. It never had a focus, who wants to listen to my opinions, what if people read it, what if people don’t read it, etc, etc, ad nausem. Add additional nauseousness.

So here I sit over my lunch break eating hot pineapple pizza off a Styrofoam plate. I’m in serious debate over which will decompose faster, the pizza or the plate.

My dog and I have been in this debate over what’s edible and what isn’t. He keeps losing on purpose I think. Nightly he wakes me up by jumping out of bed and jumping back into bed pawing at my face. “MommywakeupwakeupIhavetoPEEEEE!” Slowly I roll over and pull my aching 80 year old body out of bed, pick him up (yet another battle involves going DOWN the stairs) and put him outside where he promptly lays a whopper up-wind of me. We then head back into the darkened house, where I head to the bathroom (fair is fair) and he sniffs around the kitchen. I can only presume he finds little treasures on the floor because for two mornings in a row, exactly two hours after we’ve gone back to bed, he once again hops out of bed, and barfs on the rug. Not on the linoleum floor. My shag rug. In the sick I’ve found half a rubber chew toy, a bit of white plastic, and a twisty tie. He happily grins up at me as though he views this as some sort of reverse treasure hunt for his beautiful mistress.

I would judge his intelligence based off this but as I’ve just eaten a pizza with the taste and consistency of cardboard, I would not come off as the more intelligent being.

Instead I think I’ll punish him by fashioning a K-9 costume out of cardboard for Halloween. Revenge is best served with Doctor Who themed dog costumes.