A Basket Case.

Its one of those days.

The kind where the gears don’t shift right, where rust seems to stick to rust as you  achingly get out of bed. Mondays aren’t Mondays when thunder rumbles off in the distance as you brush your teeth. These are Saturdays wearing someone else’s clothing. You should not be here. When your dog looks at you bleary eyed when you get out of bed you know. You just hit that snooze button one more time.

Its afternoon and I still haven’t accomplished much of anything. I’m sitting here muching on a stale brownie I found at the bottom of my bag, sipping on tea out of my thermos. I didnt steep it long enough. Its a little metallic. It stings like today.

Its a truth universally known that people like to give unnecessary advice. 

I would know. I’m one of them.

If you’ve ever lived with me, or talked with me, or had a conversation behind me in line at Phil’s, McDonalds, Barnes and Noble, etc. you’ve gotten my opinion on something.

Its why my hair is so big. Its full of opinions. 

So I get it. I get that people have opinions on how things should be done, and how this could be fixed and

how I can get a job.

But seriously kids? Enough already.

I’m tired of surfing the internet and reading about the “10 things that employers hate to see on a resume” and finding them on my resume. Removing them from my resume only to read another article with the “12 things employers love to see” finding that I just removed them.

How to write the perfect power cover letter!
Dont you dare write your cover letter like that!
Why did you pick that font?
You know theres an (insert statistic here) job rate right now, RIGHT?
Hahhaa you’re a recent college graduate, why are you even bothering with this?
Harvard graduate fails to find job, your punny liberal arts degree is worthless.
10 most worthless majors, all of them are YOURS.

ENOUGH ALREADY.

Seriously. I’m done.

Because there is no self help article in the world that can help me be more than what I am, which is myself. There is no statistic that hasn’t been skewed to make me panic in some way. 

So I’ve decided that from here on out, I’ve decided in the job hunt to just be myself. And if they don’t want me, the me that uses “Bookman Oldstyle” on her resume because it has a bit more flare, the me that doesn’t use statistics on her because she doesn’t think that’s the point of her work, the one who occasionally uses a run on sentence to get her point across, then I really just don’t want them.

Now I just hope I don’t end up at McDonald’s. 

So this new doctor put me on this new med.

Not really a shock. It happens all the time. I go in and they go “Oh! I know what pill you should be popping!”

I give them a blank stare. They smile cheerily.

Lather, rinse, repeat. 

Anyway. This new guy seems a bit better because besides a pill he also prescribed meditation. Not in so many, words, but essentially that’s what it was. “Be outside yourself, spend time thinking outside yourself, breathing deeply, releasing tension.” 

He prescribed this after spending about 5 minutes with me. I mean, he’s good.

Anyway, this pill he prescribed. I go through the rigamaroll of “So what are the side effects, will the conflict with any of my other medications?”

I ain’t no rookie kids.

He tells me it may make me sleepy (Ha! But that’s another story for another time) and that it may cause me to loose weight (Yes! Yes! PRAISE JESUS YES!).

What he failed to mention is that Topamax (the med) has a common side effect of taste distortion is carbonated beverages. 

Carbonated beverages.

I drink diet coke like— it’s—WATER. 

I wake up in the morning, I let Rory out, feed Rory, get dressed, leave the house, GO TO MC DONALDS AND GET A LARGE DIET COKE, and go to work.

This is my morning routine. It took me about a week to realize that the soda machines weren’t the problem, I was.

*whimper*

Back to that whole… meditation thing…well. I’m outside myself alright.

One of my lovely Forensics students got 3rd place at the WFCA State this last weekend in the Solo Acting Humorous category. For those of you not in the know, its a pretty male dominated category, and she’s a she. And a a sophomore. Check in the win column for pure talent at a young age. Another win for the fact out of 6 people in the final round, she was the only female.

And a win for the fact that it was (my) cutting from Tina Fey’s Bossypants. 

If you haven’t read it, or even if you have, it was the part where she talks about her first period, the first time she got yelled at by a guy in a car (girls, you know, guys if you’ve done it, SHAME ON YOU), and the first time she went to the gynecologist. All things that 16 year old girls today have most likely experienced. 

And all year long we’ve battled that. “Inappropriate content” “Salty language” “Not sure if the subject matter fits the group” “The content made me uncomfortable”

Right. Because guys never tell fart jokes. And kids never swear. *blank stare*

My point is, small victory. A young woman with talent went out and was funny simply for being a woman and owning it, and no one batted an eye. In fact they honored it.

Also, in case you missed it the Titanic just had the 100th aniversy of its sinking. There were a lot of History Channel specials and I cried a lot. (What? People died!)

But I was thinking about it. Sometimes you need an epic fail for an epic win. I mean, much like my period the Titanic kind of sucked (ok bad link but stay with me, I’m going somewhere with this). But something good comes out of it. Without the sinking of the Titanic we wouldn’t have the safety regulations we have today on major ocean liners. If you think that’s a big deal, you aren’t watching the news. (Or haven’t read Bossypants. Seriously. Get on that.)

And while women’s periods blow once a month, last Saturday, for one small team from east central Wisconsin, they made the world shine.

The thing is, I think after all this time, we’re still searching for a room of our own.

http://www.vidaweb.org/the-2011-count

I’m going to preface this post with the statement that it is a bit of a rant. 

I am a little bit cheesed off.

Now, my mother (love you) would probably say that I’m upset about a lot of things, most of the time. But my focus here isn’t on general global issues, biased news reporting, or Rush Limbaugh (Which I don’t really need to post about because Rachel Held Evans pretty much covered it on here blog here)

If you haven’t heard about Kony 2012, I suggest you remove yourself from the rock you’re under, go take a walk and get yourself a cup of coffee. Seriously. Get some sun. 

While I’m a self admitted Facebook addict, I noticed the Kony posts coming in by the dozens a few days ago. “Watch this video! Do you have a soul! Seriously! Its only 30 minutes out of your life!” Really? Only 30 minutes? That’s enough time for me to make a cup of tea, some toast and watch an episode of Big Bang Theory. Its been a long day kids. I really just… ok fine. Enough already I’ll watch your *bleeping* video.

Insert long pause while I watch the video in horror. My head falls to my desk as I groan in horror. This is exactly the kind of thing that I hate.

Now, I’m clearly not the kind of person who isn’t for social justice. Quite the contrary. I’m currently working as an Americorps VISTA, I’ve applied to graduate school to get a masters in Social Work and Women’s and Gender Studies. I have dedicated my life to helping others. I don’t just get social justice. I eat, sleep and breathe social justice. Seriously. It’s concerning to my family how riled up I get over issues of inequality, poverty, and injustice. 

But Invisible Children isn’t about social justice. Its about making wealthy Americans feel justified in their own entitled circumstances, by “helping” the “poor helpless Africans”. I don’t want to sound like I think Kony is an OK guy. He’s not. Really he’s up there with Hitler for the ridiculous atrocities he’s committing. He absoloutly should be brought to justice for his actions. But you aren’t going to do a whole lot about it by purchasing a $30 “action kit” Want to help? Give your money to an aid organization that isn’t about post-colonialism, that isn’t going to give your money to further armies that have their own problems with looting and rape, and that isn’t paying their leaders 80 grand a year.

There are organizations the world over that are working to bring social justice in effective ways, after research on how to bring effective social change from within the population it seeks to help.

Support AmeriCorps and PeaceCorps members who serve your country and the world on INTENTIONAL poverty wages. We work within the populations, after significant training on how to effectively support and build the capacity of those we work with. And we don’t get the big bucks for it, so that we continue understand those we work with. 

And its organizations like these that get ignored for the viral videos that make you feel like a super hero for donating your money to get a cool bracelet. 

I don’t need special applause every time I show up to my office in the morning. Its not why I do what I do. But every time I see another organization bent on “helping” others without really taking the time understand the population, or communicating the whole truth to their donors, I weep just a little.

Take some time to think about injustices you walk past every day of your life. Think about your neighbors who can’t get by without foodstamps. Think about the victims of disease in your own country that can’t afford their medications. Think about wadge discrepancies, rampant homelessness, and education inequality. There is enough on our own back porch that gets ignored. 

I urge you to take a look at the resources posted below to educate yourself about the truth about Kony 2012, and organizations that do so much more. 

The Atlantic: The Soft Bigotry of Kony 2012

The New York Times: The Lords Resistance Army

Charity Navigator: Invisible Children

Charity Watch: Best Ways to Provide Emergency Relief to Uganda

When Helping Hurts by Brian Fikkert

Americorps Homepage

*end rant*

So I’m sitting here at work trying to write a presentation on public speaking for my fellow VISTA’s. You’d think it would be easy. I’m a high school speech coach. In short, its what I do.

But my mind keeps wandering back to the book I finished last night. 

Now that I’m out of school for the first time, in, oh, 18 years? (I’m counting pre-school) I’m finding myself at a loss for the daily mental stimulation. My procrastination mechanism is still fully functioning (see: blogging while working) but my need for mental aerobics is being starved. 

One cannot simply read Finnegan’s Wake on their own.

Well, this one can’t. 

So I’ve been reading the fabulous blog of Ms. Rachel Held Evans and her Sunday Superlatives Series has directed me to a number of wonderful blog posts and books discussing women’s issues, theology, and general wonderfulness.

Ms Evans is a part of a movement that I didn’t know existed until around October of last year. For those not in the know, I was raised in a wonderful Evangelical Christian household. While happy with the faith I have been raised in, as I moved from high school into a liberal arts education I have found myself questioning the black and white cultural wars that seem to separate contemporary Christianity with the social issue of today. See Ann Coulter vs Bill Maher. 

Upon reading Evolving in Monkey Town, by Ms. Evans I realized that there are a whole slew of people just like me out there. Raised in a faith the believe in whole heartedly, but with a passion for social justice. Raised conservative, but finding themselves to lean liberal in adulthood. 

My mind has been blown by this. While I still struggle with issues of faith and society (ask my parents. more than one tear filled rant has occurred as a result) I find comfort in the simple fact that i am not alone.

So my continual search for resolving my politics and my faith led me to read the book Raised Right: How I Untangled My Faith from Politics which I just finished last night.

I have to whole-heartedly recommend this book to anyone in a similar quandary, or to anyone who has wondered about this kind of thought process. The author, Alisa Harris gives her own unique, and yet familiar account of the struggles my generation faces.  Read it. You really should. 

So now that I’ve mixed politics and religion, opened myself up to a potential firestorm of comments (does anyone actually read this blog?) I think I’m gonna keep this up.

After all. I’m wearing giant dandelion earrings to work today. A girls gotta have a little controversy in her live. 

Not writing this blog post for one. My my brain is being productive, just not in the way I’d like it. While working on a project for my job, I needed to do some internet research on volunteer management. Clicking open the Google Chrome browser, my e-mail pops up. Hmm, I’ve got a coupon for dog food. Click open website…

How to tell if a dog has food allergies.

Where can I find cheaper Blue Buffalo dog food?

Bank account, can you keep me afloat for the next two weeks.

Similarly, how long will it take to pay off my credit card, and then start saving up for a down payment on a new car. (Not new, just not the car I currently drive)

Frustrated, I need to do something to destress, Sudoku puzzle, I will conquer you.

Oh thats right, I have a coaching session at 4:30.

Analysis of Elizabeth Bishop poems for one of my Forensicators.

What does the word “farrago” actually mean?

I don’t have to go to the tournament this weekend. I get to visit Katie!

How long does it take to get to Tomah, WI from Sheboygan, WI?

I have to be gone from Rory for 2.5 days. I hope he’ll be ok. Do I have enough dog food to make it that long? 

Look at time. HOW DID I WASTE A FULL HOUR?

I’m a bag blogger. New Years Resolution: get better at it, and don’t throw my shoe at the tv over those Weight Watchers commercials. (they irritate me)

In other news driving with my new winter boots on is like driving wearing two slippery casts on my feet. Funsauce.